Jose can he fight?

Jose Canseco – former Major League Baseball MVP, Godfather of Steroids, Surreal Life reject and best-selling author (yup, I’m as surprised as you to learn the meat monkey can even read) – will make his MMA debut in the opening round of Dream’s open-weight “Super Hulk” tournament.

Four quarter-final bouts are slated for Dream 9 on May 26 at the Yokohama Arena in Yokohama, Japan, pitting fighters of all shapes and sizes against one another.

The opening round of the Super Hulk draw will see middleweight Ikuhisa Minowa play David to Bob Sapp’s Goliath; Pride Fighting Championships and UFC veteran Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou will face K-1 veteran Jan Nortje; former Dream middleweight titleholder Gerard Mousasi will meet 2001 K-1 World Grand Prix champion Mark Hunt; and 44-year-old ex-slugger Canseco will slug it out with 7-foot-2 South Korean kickboxer Hong Man Choi. Choi, a flailing 330-pound freakshow, is best-known for an entertaining (ahem) battle with Fedor Emelianenko.

Canseco claims to be a longtime student of the martial arts (in a Johnny Drama kind of way, I’m sure). But according to Frank Trigg, who laughed off Canseco’s request to help him prepare for the fight, Canseco’s training has consisted of nothing more than “running on a treadmill.” Not that Canseco has never fought: Former NFL player Vai Sikahema defeated him with a first-round knockout in a celebrity boxing match, and former child actor and reality-TV star Danny Bonaduce (who gave up approximately 100 pounds to his opponent) fought Canseco to a majority draw a year ago.

Canseco’s best strategy against Hong Man Choi is to go back on the ‘roids and bring a baseball bat into the ring. And you though Kimbo was bad for the sport.