‘Roid rage

This really steams me. Not that Josh Barnett has tested positive for steroids for the second time in his professional career. Okay, I’m a little upset that he got caught. But I have no problem with him taking a banned substance. They’re his balls, he can shrink ’em if he wants to.

A lot of fighters take drugs, we just don’t hear about it because they’ve gotten really good at masking them for the drug tests or cycling themselves off the juice beforehand so they test clean. So Barnett, or any pro fighter, taking steroids doesn’t mean jack shit to me. This ain’t the Olympics, where I do expect a certain purity of the competition to be maintained (fuck you, Ben Johnson!). And if I was Barnett and about to step in against Fedor Emelianenko, I’d be looking for any and every advantage I could find. Steroids, HGH, PCP, a shotgun, some of that gamma shit that made Bruce Banner green, anything.

So why am I pissed off? Because now I have to watch Fedor (30-1) treat puny little Vitor Belfort like a punching bag at Affliction: Trilogy on Aug. 1. Makes me think one thing: Hulk smash! I thought Barnett (24-5) had a legitimate shot against Fedor. Well, as legitimate as it can be when you’re jamming needles in your ass to get the job done, but whatever.

Affliction VP Tom Atencio confirmed Wednesday that Barnett has been pulled from the fight because the California State Athletic Commission will not license him as a result of a positive drug test. Meanwhile, Barnett is going to go down swinging. “I took my test three weeks ago. I would have thought I would have heard something by now…No matter what happens with this, I can assure you I will clear my name. This will not be something that I am defined by,” Barnett told Sherdog. Barnett was suspended for six months by the Nevada State Athletic Commission in 2002 due to a post-fight urinalysis that revealed the presence of three anabolic agents (Boldenone metabolite, Fluoxymesterone metabolite and Nandrolone metabolite) in his body when he defeated Randy Couture to win the UFC title. To this day, he denies taking performance-enhancing drugs in advance of that fight. Now, he’ll undoubtedly face another lengthy suspension from U.S. competition that I’m sure he believes he doesn’t deserve.

Doesn’t matter. The show must go on. And Affliction isn’t like the UFC with a large stable of fighters to draw from. It must move quickly. And apparently it has.

A few fighters were being considered as replacements, including Bobby Lashley and Belfort. But when Lashley, the WWE wrestler-turned-Bob Sapp killer, was asked about stepping up against the biggest badass on the planet, he pussied out. “I don’t know if I would want it right now. Since the last fight, I haven’t really been into training again. That fight is next week. That would be something I would really have to take a look at. To just jump in there probably wouldn’t be the smartest thing for me right now,” Lashley said. He’s right, it’s probably not a smart move. I get that. He’s four fights into his MMA career and as we all know fighting the top dog early in their career never did any pro wrestler any favours.

Meanwhile, Belfort (18-8) is more than willing to forego his middleweight bout with Jorge Santiago on the same card for a shot at Fedor. Never mind that Belfort is a 185-pounder and Fedor usually weighs in around 235. Belfort has won his last four bouts, three of them by knockout, with his last victory a first-round KO of Matt Lindland at Affliction: Day of Reckoning in January (coincidentally, Lindland moved up in weight to fight Fedor in 2007 and it wasn’t pretty). Xtreme Couture striking coach Shawn Tompkins, who has been training Belfort at the Las Vegas-based camp in preparation for the Santiago bout, told MMA Junkie that Belfort is currently walking around at 205 pounds and could easily make 210-215 pounds. Still, even if Belfort starts carbo-loading now and doesn’t stop until the opening bell, well…again, Hulk smash!

But I can see why Belfort would take the fight. If he loses, well, nobody expects him to win anyway, so a loss isn’t really a loss and he’ll get plenty of respect just for going in there like that. But if he wins, he’s a fucking giant slayer. I mean, it would be the biggest upset in MMA history. And imagine what Dana White would pay to sign him to a UFC contract?

The prospect of a colossal upset aside, it’s still not the best fight if you’re an MMA fan, though. Win or lose, Lashley would’ve at least given us some idea if he’s for real or not. And what about Brett Rogers? The 10-0 bruiser knocked out former UFC heavyweight champ Andrei Arlovski in just 22 seconds at a Strikeforce event in June (granted, Fedor softened him up a bit by beating Arlovski with one punch in January). I wouldn’t mind seeing Fedor punch the mohawk off of his head. Or how about BJJ ace Fabricio Werdum? He’s got nothing to do since Alistair Overeem had to withdraw from their Aug. 15 Strikeforce heavyweight title bout because he wasn’t done healing from his last bar fight. And Werdum also has a submission win over Fedor’s brother, Aleksander, on his resumé to give a Werdum vs. Fedor matchup a little drama. Hell, I’d even half-like to see them toss Tito Ortiz into the cage with Fedor, as Mike Straka over at Fox Sports suggests. Ortiz says he wants a piece of the Russian champ at some point, why not now? Any Ortiz beating is a good beating in my book.

In the end, what can be learned from all this? The lesson for Barnett is either get off the juice or learn a better way to beat the test. Yeah, his career is probably going to take a serious hit because if this, but he’ll be back, just like Sean Sherk. People love comebacks, especially in sports. He may never get another crack at a title but he’ll make plenty of money doing what he loves, especially if he actually came forward and apologized for his mistake.

The lesson for MMA is that out-of-competition drug testing works while testing right before and right after a fight not so much. If they’re serious about cleaning up the sport, this is the way to go. So the question becomes, will we see more athletic commissions demand out-of-competition testing? Or will they feel the pressure not to from fight organizations who don’t want to see a high-profile card get thrown into chaos at the last minute?