Setting up a road Brock, er, block

Okay, let’s assume for a moment that all this talk of Fedor Emelianenko signing a UFC contract is just that, talk. Or assume it isn’t talk and that Fedor fights Brock Lesnar for the heavyweight crown and loses for like the first time ever. Who, besides Fedor and perhaps Optimus Prime, can dethrone Lesnar?

Consider – 18 months ago Lesnar was a WWE poster boy and real fighter wannabe. Now, he’s 4-1 and no one is doubting that he’s the real deal. He has freakish physical gifts beyond a dimension that has to be starved to qualify as a heavyweight. The former NCAA wrestling champion is a juggernaut, like the Rhino from those old Spider-man cartoons (minus the horn of course), with explosive speed, Mack truck takedowns, vicious ground-and-pound and the unique ability to remove horseshoes from assholes. He ruined Frank Mir, Randy Couture and Heath Herring. And he’s only getting better. Five fights into his MMA career, he’s still learning, still growing. The “gimme” kneebar he offered  Mir in their first encounter will never happen again.

Seriously, rip the sword off his chest and slap it into his hand and he’s a goddamn Frank Frezetta ‘roid nightmare! Which begs the question: Who can solve the Lesnar puzzle? And more importantly, who wants to climb in the cage and really take that shot? Who has the steel in his guts, the resolve in his heart to go toe-to-toe with him?

Contestant No. 1: Cain Velasquez (6-0), a heavy-handed puncher and top wrestler whose biggest test was a gut-check victory over Cheick Kongo at UFC 99 that saw Velasquez weather the storm of Kongo’s sledgehammer right hand to win the fight on the ground. He might be able to match Lesnar’s wrestling, but can he handle his size? Let’s see how he does against the Lesnar-like Shane Carwin at UFC 104 first.

Contestant No. 2: Shane Carwin (11-0), a physical presence as imposing as Lesnar’s, one-punch knockout power and nasty ground-and-pound. Like Velasquez vs. Kongo, Carwin was rocked early by Gabriel Gonzaga before landing a lunchbox right of his own. Also a former college wrestler, meaning he matches up well with Lesnar.

Contestant No. 3: Junior Dos Santos (8-1), a kickboxer with knockout power (ask Fabricio Werdum), all eight of his wins have come in the first round. Again, his big test will come at UFC 103 when he meets Mirko Cro Cop. But at age 25, seven years younger than Lesnar, there’s no rush to challenge for top spot.

Contestant No. 4: Mirko Cro Cop (25-6-2, 1 NC), not really in the same league any more, but you can never count out a well-timed head kick from the Croation sensation. Depends on whether he still has the fire inside to want to be the champion. Again, his UFC 103 bout with Dos Santos will tell us a lot.

Contestant No. 5: Antonio Nogueira (31-5-1, 1 NC), PRIDE legend, BJJ wizard, tons of experience, a chin of granite and a heart the size of Brazil. He’s fought and beaten more-skilled fighters than Lesnar and he’s done it while dishing out and taking a shitload of punishment. And he doesn’t need a “gimme” to submit anybody. Minotauro meets Randy Couture at UFC 102, which should tell us just how much he has left in the tank.

In the end, though, I think the best tactic may be for these fighters to employ a few pro wrestling tactics, hit him across the back with a folding chair, maybe tagteam him. Or they can bet on Fedor to beat Lesnar and then worry about how to beat him. Of course, in that scenario, Lesnar becomes he gatekeeper of th heavyweight division, meaning all roads to the title lead through him.