TUF recap: They should be airing this on The Food Network

Two fat kids fought over a cupcake on last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fight: The Biggest Loser. Darrill Schoonover, the unassuming Campbell’s Soup kid with a tattoo of a clown butchering a woman and whom opposing coach and grade-A ass Quinton “Rampage” Jackson has taken to calling “Titties,” submitted fellow flabbyweight Zak Jensen in the first round.

I’m still not sure how Schoonover was able to lock in the triangle choke, especially while eating hammerfists. It was like watching a blind man try to pop a zit with a couple of sausage links. That’s my second food-related comment regarding this fatastic episode, so I’ll leave it alone.

Just like I wish Rampage would leave the word “titties” alone. He abused it so completely he should be banned for life from even laying his eyes on a pair of breasts. Oh, and his Mr. T impression does not give me much hope for his role in The A-Team movie.

Other stuff happened, too. I seem to recall Schoonover showing up for practice hung over and that they’ve started a betting pool on how long before Jensen goes postal. And I’m sure they showed us Kimbo Slice getting pumped up about possibly getting another chance to fight.

Regardless. Team Rashad Evans is now 6-0 and controls the final two fights of the first round. UFC president Dana White claims in the preview for next week’s episode that it will be the fight of the season, which, skills-wise, would not require a whole lot.