TUF 10 recap: Bum Fights are better than this

The promos for last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights promised the “fight of the season” and the show delivered. Sure, it was one-sided, but the way “coach” Quinton “Rampage” Jackson tore that gym door apart was a demonstration of pure power and aggression. Afterward, judge Cecil Peoples gave the decision to the door despite the fact that Rampage landed more strikes and did more damage.

As for the actual fight that preceded the demolished door, ex-NFL player Matt Mitrione and Scott Junk threw marshmallow jabs and noodle-armed haymakers at each other for two rounds in what UFC president Dana White gleefully called a great fight. He said they were dropping bombs on each other. Cherry bombs, maybe.

Mitrione got the better of Junk, who I was shocked to learn has fought in the UFC once already (a submission loss to Christian Wellisch at UFC 76). He knocked Junk down several times in the first round and had Junk grabbing at his ankle like a kid being dragged from Toys R Us before they did a brief waltz against the cage. The second round was less of the same as the two lifeless blobs wailed at each other until Mitrione earned the decision and the seventh straight win for Team Rashad Evans.

Can anyone imagine any of these fighters competing in the UFC? A pie-eating contest, sure, but imagine if they faced Cain Velasquez or Junior dos Santos or Cheick Kongo. At this point, I’m looking forward to Kimbo Slice fighting again, although the episode was lacking any “Kimbo’s coming back” moments so I suspect we’ve seen the last of Slice in the cage on the show.

By the way, TUF 10 has found its Junie Browning in Mitrione. No, he’s not getting drunk and going crazy, but as coach Rashad Evans said, the cheese has certainly fallen off his cracker. He’s ratting out teammates’ supposed insecurities to the opposition, throwing temper tantrums, trying to beat up his own teammates, talking about quieting the voices in his head. It’s either an act, perhaps a mind game (although I’m not ready to give Mitrione enough credit to come up with something like that), or he’s batshit insane or he’s just a tremendous douche.

The episode started with an argument between Evans and Rampage that was heated and grew in intensity as Rampage began to behave more and more like a schoolyard bully and less and less like a professional athlete.