“War Machine to Whore Machine”: the idiocy continues

Tito Ortiz might be married to a porn star but Ultimate Fighter veteran Jon Koppenhaver, who legally changed his name to War Machine, is going to go one better by becoming a porn star.

The above email was posted on War Machine’s Myspace page (I found it via Bloody Elbow, not because I was trolling MySpace). In it he talks about having shot his first porn scene, how it was “fucking awesome,”and that he wants to be both a professional fighter and a fucker. “I’m living the dream,” he writes.

That’s right, War Machine, the “dream” that everybody wants to live is to get punched in the face and have sex on film for money, sometimes at the same time.

Of course, War Machine has had a few dreams come true, like the ones about threatening President Obama, “terrorizing chicks,” avoiding felony assault charges, getting fired by the UFC and Bellator FC and brawling at a gay nightclub. Now he’ll get paid to star in things like Gangbangs of New York, Schindler’s Fist, In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon, Saturday Night Beaver, 28 Gays Later and White Men Can’t Hump. He’s such an inspiration.

Dream big, Jon Koppenhaver, dream big.