Who Needs the Hulkster when MMA has War Machine?

The WWE seems to be all over the UFC lately. Last week, I wrote about Shane McMahon looking to buy an interest in the UFC and this week Hulk Hogan showed up at The Ultimate Fighter Finale.

The Hulkster even gave some advice on how the UFC could improve business:

“Dana [White] does a great job, and it’s obviously working, I mean the sport is huge right now compared to a few years ago. But I just think there are little things he could do to improve the show, dude. With a nice entrance way, some pyrotechnics and custom entrance music for his fighters, it would ensure a much more fan-friendly environment and allow the fans to better identify the individual fighters. I think small things like that would go a long way in building up some of the lesser known fighters. Just the fact that the crowd [was] chanting ‘boring’ out there during one of the fights speaks volumes [about the current product].”

I have no objection to the pyrotechnics. If people want to blow shit up I’m not going to stand in their way. But where we seem to have the WWE beat is in the story lines. Not even Vince McMahon could come up with War Machine.

War Machine (formerly Jon Koppenhaver) is a 28-year-old fighter whose fifteen minutes of fame included a win on the The Ultimate Fighter 6 season finale and then a loss at UFC 84. Following the loss, he embarked on a career in porn.

“I’m a full time Alpha Male. I get paid to fight and to fuck….what more could I ask for,” reads one of his tweets. He is living the dream, I’ll give him that.

War Machine then gets into an altercation at a porn party and beats up like ten guys, but it doesn’t stop there. He is already awaiting trial for a fight at a rumoured gay club/gym he worked at. In a recent interview, War Machine gives his side of the encounter:

“Cindi: Next rumour – you are on probation, because you beat up someone at Krave, a gay club/gym (depending on who you listen too), and this incident is going to put you in jail for a long time. What parts of that statement are true?
WM: I have a trial in January for a fight that I got into at Krave with a fellow employee. He was the doorman there and is 6′5” and weighs over 300 pounds. He thought he could kick my ass and was wrong so he called the cops. It will be another easy case to win via self defense. I will not be going to jail for a long time for any of this crap. Just because I am a pro fighter and have a name for myself when I am involved in an incident it draws a lot of attention. It does not mean that I am not allowed to protect myself against opponents three times my size or against groups of ten men.”

War Machine, who is obviously innocent (in a Michael Jackson/OJ Simpson kind of way) is appealing for money to help pay for his legal fees to help fight this obvious injustice. You can send all donations to SayNoToJail@yahoo.com. Cheque’s in the mail, War Machine.