UFC 109: A battle for the aged

I’m inclined to root against Mark Coleman – not just when he faces Randy Couture at Saturday’s UFC 109 but in everything he does in life – based solely on the photo above. Can you guess why? Yep, there he is hitting the focus mitts with coach Shawn Tompkins while wearing a freakin’ ballcap! Who does that? I wonder if he’ll wear it during his octagon walk-in.

Okay, Coleman has given me a second reason not to be in his corner. Around thirteen minutes into the video below he talks about his two daughters, how he’s a father first and fighter second (aww, how sweet) and then he talks to them in a video chat, saying something about wanting to get this fight over so he can get back home to them and – well, at that point I stopped watching. It just felt like a painfully obvious and completely staged ploy to gain sympathy, garner fans, to humanize Coleman. Coleman barely looks human so he could use a little of that, especially considering he’s not as well-known or popular as Couture.

So, what about the fight itself, between two guys with a combined age just south of triple digits. They’re both former UFC champs (Coleman was in fact the first-ever heavyweight champ and a ground-and-pound pioneer), and both were Olympic-class wrestlers. Coleman actually competed in the ‘92 Games while Couture was always an alternate (always a bridesmaid, never a bride). Coleman was also a freestyle wrestler, which is considered harder, tougher, more athletic than Greco Roman, which Couture competed in. It’s likely a moot point, though, considering the deciding factor in the bout will probably come down to who has the better striking and can impose their will on the other, clinch, use dirty boxing, keep the fight up against the cage. Oh yeah, and stamina, cardio, an ability to not require an oxygen mask between rounds and be taken out of the cage in a wheelchair. Flip a coin for the winner.

As Don Frye says,Couture vs. Coleman is “going to be like sex with a grizzly bear, you know, a lot of scratching and growling on both sides.” Not sure I want to pay to watch bears bumping ugly, though. That’s what the Discovery Channel is for.