Stephan Struve: “Take your stinking paws off me you damn dirty ape”

Rolling and wrestling with Cornelius-level ape-men is gross. It’s that simple. It comes with the territory of you grapple, but it doesn’t make it any less unpleasant. Some judicious trimming, if not outright waxing or shaving, is really appreciated by your training partners and opponents. And it looks and feels cleaner.

So if I was fighting in the UFC, with cameras and close-ups and hot octagon girls watching me, as Dave Herman is tonight against a bulked-up Stefan Struve, I would certainly be doing some serious manscaping. And if I was Struve, I’d want to avoid grappling against the cage or getting caught in his guard. Or taking side control. Or his back. Or grappling with him in any way, shape or form. Maybe a flying triangle is okay.

I get that maybe — maybe — that the gross-out factor of grabbing Struve in a big wet bear hug might be part of his game plan, but come on, even Burt Reynolds showed some common sense  in his “sexiest-man-of-the-’70s” Cosmo porn spread by clear-cutting the shoulder and back forest. If UFC boss Dana White had a problem with Dennis Hallman’s manties, he should have a problem with Sasquatch here.