Category — Squared circle

James Toney has taken a beating lately, starting even before his embarrassing yet entirely predictable submission loss to Randy Couture at UFC 118 on Saturday. The pile-on reached epic proportions immediately after the bout, as though he had robbed MMA fans of something. It was not as though the fight was ever going to decide which was superior, MMA or boxing, despite how it was billed (promos pegged it as “UFC vs. Boxing“). All that was proven was that Toney, a once-great boxing champion, is now well past his prime and possessing of zero takedown defence or grappling skills. That’s it. But he’s still deserving of our respect, as Sherdog’s Jake Rossen quite ably describes:

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The more I watch boxing champ James Toney in interviews, the more I hope he shocks everyone and knocks Randy Couture out at Saturday’s UFC 118. There’s something about his over-blinged, marble-mouthed, thug-parody personality, it’s like some weird performance art that I can’t look away from.

Anybody? I’m just wondering how much of a fight Shane Mosley is going to be able to put up. And whether Floyd Mayweather will show up to box or to dance around and avoid boxing.

A couple of points. I still can’t fathom UFC president Dana White signing boxing’s biggest blowhard given how soundly, directly and publicly James Toney has trashed the UFC, it’s fighters and the sport of MMA in general. I guess White just wants an easy buck and perhaps to see the attitude choked out of Toney in the cage. Second, is there a clearer case for the cumulative brain damage caused by the repeated blows boxers absorb than to listen to James Toney talk, especially when you compare his early career speech to today?

It’s no secret that boxer James Toney fancies himself the next UFC champion. Like the most-persistent Washington lobbyest, he’s hounded UFC president Dana White for months to get a contract. Ambushing him at press conferences, making taunting videos, calling him a “straight up ho.” Basically, he’s been stalking and trash talking the UFC. And it’s actually worked.

Five Ounces of Pain has the exclusive: the 41-year-old Toney has signed a multi-fight deal with the promotion. No word on when or who he might fight first.

So how will a pure boxer fair in MMA? And who will he face first? The answer to the first question depends an awful lot on the answer to the second. If he’s pitted against a grappler who can get the fight to the ground, well, I don’t have to spell it out for you. If it’s a striker he faces, then it comes down to all those things Toney hasn’t been training – kicks, knees, elbows, clinching, cage control, etc. (Although apparently, he’s been working with Quinton”Rampage” Jackson’s former trainer, Juanito Ibarra.)

And the UFC could go either way – test him with a submissions guy (unlikely as that would probably result in an Anderson Silva vs. Thales Leites-style snorefest) or a puncher a la Kimbo Slice. Although who knows what weight Toney will want to compete at. After all, he’s a former middleweight, super-middleweight and cruiserweight boxing champion and currently holds the NABO and IBA heavyweight titles.

And for the record, he’s not all hype when it comes to his skills in ring. He’s got a 72-6 record (plus three draws and two no contests), and he’s knocked out 44 opponents.

Before I get into the meat of things make sure you check out the video below. It’s really one of the best UFC promos ever. No annoying voiceover from the UFC’s equivalent of the movie trailer guy (“In a world where…), cool taiko drums, set a mood for what should be a classic clash. [Ed. note: Scott Wallace over at the BJJ blog ScottOnTheNet confirmed my suspicions that this is a fan promo by Socawarrior. There's no way the UFC would come with something this cool.] Okay, onward:

UFC president Dana White doesn’t think much of the way professional boxing handles itself. It’s a joke, in his eyes. But that’s not stopping him from getting the hell out of the way when he sees a freight train headed his way.

UFC 113, originally scheduled for May 1 in Montreal, will move to May 8 because the previous date is also when Floyd Mayweather will headline a pay-per-view against Shane Mosley. Lyoto Machida vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua II will still be the main event at UFC 113, although the long-awaited, much-hyped clash between Rashad Evans and Quinton “Rampage” Jackson is expected to move to UFC 114 on May 29 in Las Vegas. That date, of course, puts it just a couple of weeks in advance of the June 11 release of the A-Team movie in which Rampage co-stars.

Heavyweight boxing champ James Toney says he wants to fight in the UFC, says he knows more than boxing, that he knows takedown defense, he knows wrestling, he knows sidekicks and back kicks and whatever else he needs to know. At least, I think that’s what he says. He chews up his words so badly it’s hard to tell sometimes and the whole time I’m listening to him, especially in the interview with MMA Connected’s “Showdown” Joe Ferraro, I keep remembering Eddie Murphy’s James Brown impression.

I don’t think Toney knows anything other than boxing. He hasn’t got a clue. Just look at how he reacts in the second clip when he’s asked about his MMA skills. He’s just chasing dollar signs. And putting him in the octagon would be a freakshow event, a Kimbo Slice times ten. Then again, Slice draws an audience, so I can see why UFC president Dana White would be giving Toney the time of day. Doesn’t mean it’s good for the sport. It’s a little too WWE for my taste.

I missed this 10.16 piece in the Globe and Mail story on the rising popularity of chessboxing in the U.K. (thanks, Vern). As you can imagine, this “sport” combines chess and boxing as two players/fighters alternate between four-minute chess rounds and three-minute boxing rounds with a winner determined by checkmate or knockout. As the story explains, “It’s like the Fight Club, only with tiny plastic queens.”

This doesn’t surprise me a bit. MMA has been described as kinetic chess. My club has a chess board set up in the reception area where members often play a game before or after rolling. Chessboxing just takes it to the next geeky level. Although sometime around the third or fourth round I think all I could manage is checkersboxing.

Here’s an abridged version of the shootfight between past-his-prime showboat Muhammad Ali and Japanese catch wrestler Antonio Inoki from 1976 that is glimpsed in the Fight Network video I just wrote about. It was pretty much a joke as no grappling was allowed, strikes only, and Inoki could kick only when he had one knee on the ground, which is why he spends the whole time on his back. Ali landed just six punches in the fight, which went what I can only imagine was an exceptionally boring 15 rounds, resulting in a draw. For my money, I’d rather watch Rocky vs. Thunderlips.